Unwanted

There are times, when you just feel.. unwanted.

Unwanted by social circumstance

Unwanted by working colleagues

Even.. unwanted by closest ones

When people always count what they have done to us, What we have done to them, what they have given to us , what we have given to them

When we cant meet their needs, well be basically unwanted. Trash.

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Pengingat

Ini pengingat untuk ku..bahwa setinggi apapun nanti pendidikan yang aku dapatkan, atau mungkin jabatan yang aku raih, sebanyak apapun prestasi yang aku peroleh.. jangan pernah menjadi orang yang gila akan hormat. Terus merunduk, dan merunduklah, hiduplah biasa aja.. karena hidup ini hanya begini saja, maka jangan jadi sombong atau semena-mena , karena hidup ini hanya begini saja. Di atas langit masih ada langit.. jangan pernah sombong atau gila hormat. Sesungguhnya itu semua.. hanya ujian sesaat.

That journalist life (1)

It’s funny to see how time has flown by so quickly. It’s been 10 months since I decided to join The Jakarta Post and within 10 months, many things have happened and things have changed. I am still a learner, but I think I am getting better and I am thriving to be a better learner. Being a journalist has never been easy. It will always be challenging, but I enjoy everything.

Within 10 months I also got opportunities to cover events that required me to travel to another part of the world and another part of Indonesia. In early June, I got a chance to cover an International summit in Beijing, China. In early July, I got chance to travel to Makassar, South Sulawesi to cover an international conference on Islamic Finance. For the last one, it was pretty sudden as my editor told me to go to Makassar just at the night before the tomorrow’s departure. “Riza, you have to go to Makassar tomorrow,”, and the next day I landed in Makassar. What a life.  For me, all the experiences I got within these past 10 months were amazing.

It’s good to see how my self growing within these past 10 months.  I think, now I am more confident to interview international English speakers, I am more confident to discuss a heavy topic with other people, I am more confident in writing (although I know there are so much lacks and mistakes,  here and there in my writing). But, still, I feel blessed and so grateful for everything. I looked back at 3-years-ago ‘me’. And I know that I am growing and developing. I, maybe take a slower time than my other friends in pursuing a career. But I feel like I don’t stick and stop at one point, but always taking a small higher step ahead.

Who was me three years ago? I was just a person with very limited English skill both in writing and speaking who had not enough confidence to speak in front of a friend who became her speaking practice partner. A person who had not enough confidence talking in front of people who silently judging her English with a very strong Javanese accent.

Who was me seven years ago? I was just a person who just listened to people talking about a movie without written English subtitle while talked to myself “I have no idea what they are talking about”. A person, who often got bullied in her college days due to her strong Javanese accent when speaking Bahasa Indonesia.

Three years ago, seven years ago, and maybe several years ago, No one knew that once, I would be a broadcaster on a radio, broadcasting news without any single Javanese accents sounded. No one knew that I would be a journalist for an English newspaper.

What people knew back then was I was a person who came from a small town, they did not even know, who spoke in a very strong Javanese accent and had limited capacity to speak in English.

It’s good to see me today and looked back at 3-years-ago “me”. It’s good to see me today and looked back at 5-years-ago “me”. I know that I am growing,  I know that I am changing, to be a better person, a better learner.

The good feeling is the same, with feeling when knowing that everybody knows about Trenggalek or at least ever heard about Trenggalek because of Emil Dardak and Arumi Bachsin. Oh God thanks to them. They basically make my task easier to introduce Trenggalek than it used to be, when people, even people who lived in East Java asked me “Where Trenggalek is?”.

You know,

Things are changing..

Hopefully, things will always change to be better and better.

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Amateur me, with all these cool people behind The Jakarta Post’s business desk

​Jakarta sendu

Jakarta sedang sendu, setidaknya hari ini dan sehari yang lalu. Kemarin hujan turun sejak pagi, mendung bergelayut hingga sore hari dan membuat udara menjadi sejuk, sendu, di malam hari.

Bisa kubaui aroma tanah basah oleh hujan. Aroma yang membawa ingatanku  kembali ke  Surabaya di malam hari setelah diguyur hujan seharian, beberapa tahun lalu.  Aroma dan sejuknya udara yang entah kenapa mengingatkanku akan kesepian. Ya, kesepian. Bagiku Surabaya adalah sebuah kesepian.

Kesepian yang aku rasakan kala menyusuri jalanan Biliton dan Kertajaya malam-malam sendirian. Kesepian yang aku rasakan kala melewati Jalan Embong Gayam sebelum pulang usai bekerja seharian. Kesepian yang aku rasakan saat membeli satu bungkus capcay , hampir setiap hari di tempat langganan ujung gang kosan. Tanpa ada yang peduli, bagaimana keadaanku, bagaimana perasaanku setiap hari di pennghujung hari.

Jakarta sedang sendu, setidaknya hari ini dan sehari yang lalu. Tapi Jakarta sendu ini megingatkanku, untuk bersyukur atas apa yang aku punya saat ini. Bersyukur atas perasaan yang saat ini tidak pernah merasa sepi. Bersyukur atas kebebasan dalam diri.

 

Jakarta

27 Juni 2018, Dini hari menjelang pilkada.

 

 

what I miss of living in Newcastle?

I miss my daily life in Newcastle and I think this feeling won’t fade away. There are two things that I miss the most of living in Newcastle; its serenity.. and its calm pace of life. I miss walking and running through the pedestrian path along the New Bridge Street in the morning to catch journalism morning class. I miss stopping by for a while in Bubble Cha to buy Jasmine Milk Tea before an afternoon class. I miss entering the university’s Armstrong Building where most of my daily classes were taken place. I miss studying inside ARMB PC Cluster 2.96, listening to David Baines talking for hours about editing newspaper. I miss eating in Old Library Building canteen next to Armstrong building, eating a standard English breakfast for 4£ (also the cheapest proper meal there) with Marina in the canteen. I miss going to the city center which is only located about 200 yards away from my university building and seeing people walking around – selling flowers – selling fruits in the middle of city center’s alleyway. I miss going to the Grainger Market just to buy a cup of Americano and enjoying it alone while listening to people’s chattering in the market. I miss walking slowly towards my flat unit at St Anns Close, walking slowly while enjoying the calmness of the city.

The calm and peaceful St Anns Close, the two floor flat building where I lived with Elvira and Irfan, my flatmate. It was St’s Anns Close view after raining, so peaceful..

This was view from my room in one morning during Spring. One of my favorite view. There were so many mornings where I started by staring at this view before finally taking a bath and going to campus.

This was view behind my room’s window pane… Ahh..I dont know how to express this feeling, but I do really miss this view and spot.

This is my flat building’s alleyway, so peaceful. Its not a favorite place for young student to live.  This is a place where many elderly people are living. But me, vira and irfan were okay with it. Maybe because of the majority people who are living here are elderly, this flat is so peaceful. I will always miss this place.

This is a part of my university building. On the left side there is quadrangle, on the right side there is Armstrong building that I have mentioned earlier. This calm and peaceful view was university’s view during summer holiday, when most of students going away for vacation. But not for me, this time, I had three months intensive training with press association. Unlike others student who were mostly taking a vacation, I and my classmates had to go to the class everyday. I think I am going to write about my training days on my next blog post (hopefully).

A peaceful late Sunday afternoon at around Monument located in Newcastle’s city centre. The girl who brought white plastic bag was Elvira, my flatmate. On the weekend, we frequently  walking around the city centre, going to Grainger market to buy groceries, or going to Hi You, an Asian shop where we could buy Asian food and Asian’s ingredients, even Tempe…we could find it there.

This is Grainger Market, my favorite place in Newcastle. I cant count how many times I bumped to this market, purposely or just spontaneously.. Yeah just because I love this market so much. Instead of going to the mall (Newcastle Eldon Square), that is located next to the market, I prefer going to this market really. The old and  classic market where I could buy cheap and fresh vegetable and fruit and cofeee. How happy. The feeling of strolling around the Grainger Matket’s alley, I remember it clearly.

If I like you enough, I will definitely bring you to this coffee shop. This is my favorite coffee shop that I mentioned earlier before. I would be happy just by sitting here and enjoying a cup of Americano. The thing that makes like this coffee shop is the coffee taste is really good. I think Americano in Pumphrey is the best Americano so far that I have tasted. And also because the location is inside Grainger Market and that is just perfect (for me).

Satu manusia

Teruntuk manusia yang satu ini, semoga diberikan kesabaran. Satu, yang selalu menjadi manusia tempat berkeluh kesah nomor satu. Satu, yang selalu menjadi manusia sumber tawa sewaktu-waktu. Satu, yang selalu membuat jengkel di beberapa waktu. Satu, manusia yang menjadi teman saling bercerita setiap waktu. Satu-satunya..manusia yang ingin aku bawa, seandainya aku terdampar di pulau antah-berantah di satu waktu.

Jakarta, 29 April 2018

Dan satu manusia disana dia berada

Athens, Georgia, 28 April 2018

When in Portugal

iPhone keeps reminding me of happy moments during 2017. This is absolutely one of my fave, visiting Portugal and staying at Marina’s house, my Portuguese best friend. Visiting several places in Portugal; Pinhal Novo, Lisbon, Palmela, Porto. Going to the beach. Eating a lot of food, 🐟. You know what, Portuguese food is really good, a lot of seafood and fish. And also Marina’s friend and family were very nice to me and Xiaofeng. Among many European countries, I am glad that I have visited Portugal. Pretty miss that moment. Oh yes, staying at Marina’s house was definitely a different story to tell.. it was unforgettable when your friend house is surrounded by very wide grape and fruit farm in the countryside of Portugal. Just like Xiaofeng said: “we are staying at yellow beautiful mansion with beautiful farm view, its a privilege”. I think visiting a country with a local is different, it is beyond a ‘just’ trip. Miss those moments :”)